How to marry a Finnish girl
Well that got your attention didn’t it !
This week’s blog is a bit different. More like a journal / diary blog rather than the normal blog I write which I purposely aim to be more inspirational or challenging.
I’m writing it in honour of jetlag and having just flown in from Finland this morning. Why ? Well I certainly never ever thought I’d go to Finland for one and I’m tipping most of you haven’t been either (after all I can only think of places like Iceland and Greenland that could possibly be further away) so I thought you might find it interesting if I shared some thoughts and observations with you from my 2 weeks there.
Observation 1 – They really love their saunas !
Sorry. Correction. They really, really love their saunas. And they enjoy them naked ! Just like in the photo below – truly. It is just like that. And when in Rome … so, yes, I had a sauna in the buff too. There’s even some G-rated proof for you below. And what’s more – it felt pretty good actually. They don’t slow cook themselves for 20-30 mins in like people seem to do here. Just a good 5-10 minutes in, then out for a swim or shower or a relaxed beer whilst sitting in the colder air. And then they might head in to the sauna for another round and do it again. I’m starting to become a fan (except for the branches which they reckon are relaxing and therapeutic as you hit yourself with them ?!). All in all though, the saunas really do feel great when done properly … Boy, I never thought I’d say that !!
Observation 2 – All Finns are blonde
Ok, perhaps this isn’t strictly true, but I’m sticking with it. After all, look at my two samples – Viktor – the son of one of the families I stayed with, and my girlfriend as a child (when she lived in an igloo).
Observation 3 – berries are king !
It’s true. The Finns love berries. Berries grow everywhere in the forests around their summer cabins and you will find the Finnish happily wondering the forest, basket or bucket in hand, collecting berries to then be used in all manner of things. Is it possible to overdose on anti-oxidents? If not, the Finnish must be very healthy …
Observation 4 – Finnish is the second hardest language in the world
Seriously – what’s with this language? I’m sure there is a harder language out there but from my point of view, could they make it any harder. Can I feel any stupider when trying to speak it?
Finnish comes from the Finno-Ugric langage family which includes other easy languages like Hungarian and Estonian. Now, take that as the foundation to learn from and then add the following facts that I’ve noticed …
1) It can only be spoken in a monotone. No gestures like the Italians.No pompousness like the french. No gutteral sounds like the Germans. No ear-piercing intonation like the Chinese. No fairytale sounds like Estonian. Just plain old devoid of life monotone. (Interestingly when I did add my own little bit of spiced up intonation to an expression when asking a little child in a pram how he was, the kid looked up at me startled and everyone in the lift laughed – ah one of life’s moments!). Guess I’ll stick to monotone.
2) It seems like the aim is to link the most number of vowels, the letter ‘K’, and umlauts.
3) Speaking should be done with minimal eye contact. So good luck trying to use facial expressions to help.
3) Finns love their compound words. Just look at the photo below which I took of the outside of a shop advertising something. Or consider the word Hurskastelevaisehkollaismaisellisuuksisaankohankin. I mean – seriously – c’mon ! Are you having a lend of me ?
Observation 5 – Shrek lives in the beautiful city of Tallinn in Estonia
Tallin is the capital of Estonia which is a couple of hours ferry ride across the Gulf of Finland / Baltic Sea from Helsinki. I did a quick trip over there (to do some rally car driving of all things) and was so pleasantly surprised. Tallinn is without doubt one of the most beautiful towns I have visited in Europe. And that is saying something after having lived in Italy and travelled as much of Europe as I have throughout my bobsledding days. Picture an old medieval city, cobbled streets, colourful buildings, nice parks etc. I highly recommend a visit there if you just happen to be in the area !? And who would have thought that whilst there I would unexpectedly run into Shrek and Donkey? So not only does Santa Klaus live in Finland, but Shrek is a neighbour !
Observation 6 – Australians would feel at home here – the Finns love a good booze run
The Finnish are big drinkers and often travel to neighbouring Estonia (where Shrek lives) to buy their alcohol tax free and keep on doing what they do well – drinking – even out of casks. (I thought we stopped that when we were 15 in Australia ?!). It was absolutely classic watching people pile off the ferry with trolleys and cars ladened with booze.
Observation 7 – The game of Mölkky/Finska is alive and well
Finska (or more accurately in Finnish – Mölkky – pronounced Mool-ker) is an old Finnish log throwing game. I stumbled across it at a golf day and bought it for my flatmate as a Christmas present. But the funny moment was when my Finnish girlfriend and her friends saw it at my place … I have never seen people so happy with cries of – ‘Oh – Mölkky !!’
It seems that every good Finnish household has this game. The twelve numbered pins and throwing pin are crafted from solid birch and each person take turns to throw the throwing pin/peg/log from 5m away. If you knock more than one peg over, you score the number of pegs knocked over. If you knock only a single peg over, you score the number on that peg. The aim of the game is to reach 50 points exactly, but don’t go over (think darts), or you will lose (go back to 25 in this case). Who would have thought you could have so much fun with a lump of wood ?!
Observation 8 – Endless summer nights have their pros and cons
Being so far north, it is amazing to experience the long summer nights. When I was there during the past couple of weeks it got dark at around 10pm and light around 5am. The photo I took on the left is from about 8:30pm I think. It really does mess with your brain (and your sleeping habits). And what surprised me is that no-one seemed to have big curtains to black out the light – they just adjust and get used to it seemingly, unlike our/my body clock which adjusts very quickly to things like daylight saving.
The negative of the endless summer nights of course is what winter is like. The photo on the right was taken at 2pm last January in northern Norway (Alta). I had just retired from bobsleigh after some training in Lillehammer and so headed north up in to the Arctic Circle in search of the northern lights. Another thing you should put on your bucket list and do !
Observation 9 – I hope you like coffee and cake
Apparently addiction to caffeine in Finland is the highest in the world. The average person consumes 1.3kgs of coffee each year. The average Finn consumes 12kgs each year. Now, imagine that you are catching up with friends or chilling at your summer cabin and someone asks if you’d like a coffee. You accept of course … and then cake is served ! You sit around (which is what the Finns seem to me to do very well) chatting or whatever and the next thing it is mealtime, in which case you eat your meal and then have a mandatory coffee and cake. And the cycle continues. Now you’re trapped.
Observation 10 – You can take the boy out of Australia but you can’t take the Australia out of the boy
What can I say? Finland is great but above all I love Australia. And as the saying says – you can take the boy out of Australia but you can’t take the Australian out of the boy … Example 1 – I may have been in Finland but Weetbix is Weetbix and breakfast should not be messed with. I mean, I was happy to adapt to Scandinavia and use blueberries instead of sultanas on top, but why why on earth would I want to have thick brown bread with meat and cheese etc on it for breakfast instead? That’s just not cricket !
And just to make sure that there is no doubt in my mind that I live in the best country and one of the best cities in the world – as I arrived home from the airport and drove into my driveway this morning, I saw 3 whales swimming merrily along from Manly to Freshwater. Now how about that as a welcome home down under !