Zero to hero ?
Gilbert Arena’s is an American basketball player for the Orlando Magic in the NBA. He is a 3x NAB All-Star, 3x member of the All-NBA Teams and was voted the NBA’s Most Improved Player in 2002-03.
Sounds great doesn’t it ? … well is wasn’t always great … listen to his story.
To use his own words …
My number is 0 – it reminds me of what people thought of me.
Noone believes in me anyway. So I’m going to fight for it.
Believing in myself when noone else did.
Prove everyone wrong.
1st 40 games sitting on the bench. Feeling depressed, useless, full of doubts. Tears. Pain.
Zero to hero.
My challenge:
When you want to do something great in life; when you have a vision and a dream for what you want; when you’re going after something … never be surprised that there will be doubters, sceptics, mockers and opposition. But never let anyone else’s expectations define your future. Choose to believe more in yourself than other people might believe in you. Choose to think differently. Choose to take responsibility for your own life and define your own success adn journey. These are the internal choices you will need to make. Noone will see them but these are the iron clad decisions and lines in the sand you will make inside. And from there you will add hard work, strategy, talent, perseverance and everything else it takes to get to where you want to … Just like Gilbert Arena ! From zero to hero … and your story is next …
The best of friends or the worst of masters
I want to share with you today a little bit of information about something that is either your best friend or your worst master. It is your constant companion. It will either work for you or against you. It will push you forward or drag you backwards. In fact, it is the servant of all great people, and alas, of many failures as well. It is completely at your command and once set-up it is easily managed. In fact, if you handed things many of the things you did over to it, it would be able to save you a lot of trouble and do them quickly, correctly and automatically. Run it for profit or ruin, it doesn’t mind, even though it isn’t a machine. Manage it firmly and train it and it will place the world at your feet, but be easy with it, and it will destroy you.
What is it ? … it is HABIT.
‘The beginning of a habit is like an invisible thread, but every time we repeat the act, we strengthen the strand, add to it another filament, until it becomes a great cable and binds us irrevocably, thought and act.’
(Orison Swett Marden)
Habits are those behaviours that we acquire, repeat regularly and continually do, and that then become almost involuntary and automatic. An example of this might be (on the negative) nail biting and (on the positive) the habit of looking both ways before we cross the street. The point about habits is that it you don’t have to think about them, so they can be both positive and negative.
When we’re engaging in a habit, we’re acting subconsciously. Psychologically this is because our brain develops blueprints/templates for how it will act to certain stimuli and situations – neural pathways that it runs so that it doesn’t need to process everything consciously.
So you can see how our habits can be the best of servants (and help us) or the worst of masters (and hinder us).
So here’s 7 things to know about habits so you can use them to serve you well.
1. A habit must be fed in order to grow
To overcome a bad habit you must starve it. And to build a new one you must feed it. Pretty simple really. So feed only the habit you want to build and grow.
2. Little things add up to big things – habits build destinies
Since our habits can help us or hinder us, you can understand that when we make little changes and put them on auto-pilot, they can add up to big changes. Think of the benefit you’d gain, for example, if you made a habit of getting up a few minutes earlier in the morning. Or of taking the stairs instead of the elevator, saving a bit of money each week, paying your bills on time, drinking water throughout the day, staying in touch with friends, exercising daily, doing a bit of reading every day, writing in a journal, always being prepared to try to push out that last repetition, always looking at your goals and reminding yourself of your ‘why’ and so on. Imagine you actually do each of these activities without thinking about it or without the mucking about in your mind that goes on when you’re trying to decide whether to initiate an action. Your good or bad habits can shape your future. What you do each day will, in many ways, determine what you become permanently. So use your habits for you not against you !
3. Habits determine your focus
Your habits will determine where you direct your energy and focus. Will you focus on what can be or what can’t be?Will you invest into your future or will your laziness pay off now? Will you value relationships or time on the X-box? Your habits don’t only influence but determine your focus.
4. In forming good habits there can be no exceptions
Unfortunately when establishing a habit there can be no luxury as “I’ll let it go just this once”. That’s a chink in the armour, a crack in the wall you are building. Because excuses grow and grow. The time you let is slip by will mean that little voice in your head allows you to let it slip just than one extra time. You know it will. So there can be no exceptions. Just as the quote above says – a great cable that binds our thoughts and acts irrevocably.
5. You are in control – you determine your habits
Be encouraged. Habits can be changed. New habits formed. New neural pathways developed. New patterns formed. That is up to you. It is just a decision that you make that you then need to back up with the cold, hard action. But you are always in control. It doesn’t happen by magic – you control if you will feed a good habit or a bad habit. It’s never easy and in writing this I am exactly the same as you when I think of lots of things I’d like to do better or not do. Hey, life isn’t supposed to be some arduous, mechanical daze of instituting habits. But, the fact is, they do have a big influence on our lives; they are either our best of friends or the worst of masters; and we are in control of that!
6. To change a habit – make it simple and doable.
Just try and change one habit at a time and make your change simple. To establish your habit, involve only one or two rules not a dozen. For example, the habit of exercising once a day for at least 30 minutes is easier to follow than exercising on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Fridays by doing yoga the first day and mountain biking the third day, except when its’ a rainy day, in which case you’ll do … Simple rules lead to habits; simple rules you can then put into practice consistently for a good month so you create a good habit and make it stick.
And make it ‘doable’. For example, if you want to go for a walk every morning for an hour, the habit might be great, but the length of time you need might cause you to subconsciously undermine your best efforts and motivations. Therefore, keep the walk short in the beginning – say, 10 minutes. Do it every day for a couple of weeks until you’ve firmly installed the habit. Then, extend the time so you do the hour of walking – you’ll find that’s the easy part.
7. Use leverage and strategies eg replace lost needs
Use whatever leverage and strategies you can to help you establish your habit and give you that extra push / motivation. Give a friend $100 on the condition that s/he returns it to you only when you’ve completed 30 days without fail. Make a public commitment to everyone you know that you’re going to stick with the good habit. Offer yourself a reward if you stick to the habit for a month. Coat your nails with bitters, put band-aids over the ends of them, or put a sugar-free lollypop in your mouth to stop you biting your nails. Make it hard for yourself to stay in bed and press the snooze button by moving your alarm to the other side of the bed and set the lights on a timer. Put a lock on fridge and give the key to your partner. Whatever it is and whatever leverage / strategy you come up with to break the cycle and establish your new habit. And don’t forget to replace lost needs. For example, if you opened up your computer and started removing hardware, what would happen? Chances are your computer wouldn’t work. Similarly, you can’t just delete habits without replacing the needs they meet. To give up TV, for example, you might need to find a new way to relax, socialise or get information.
My challenge
What habits help you ? What habits hinder you ? Will you decide to change anything today ?
The difference between a sceptic and a cynic
Pessimists. Cynics. Sceptics. Optimists. Realists … what’s the difference ?
If there is one thing that bugs me it is pessimists. And the funny thing is that I’d say my father is one. My father is an amazing man and if I can be half the man my father is, I’d be happy. But I’ve got to say that I’m thankful that somehow I didn’t get those genes and instead was born and fashioned with a desire to see the glass half full (sorry Dad !). To see things how they could be, as opposed to what they couldn’t. To choose to believe the best and to be hopeful and optimistic, instead of seeing what could go wrong or why someting wont work. My Dad would say he’s a realist. I’d say he’s a cynic / a pessimist ! So what’s the difference ?
A Cynic – this is someone who is always pessimistic. They had hope but they now ‘polute the attitude pond we all drink from’. Always seeing the worst. Seeing the glass half-full. Pointing out what could go wrong. Pointing out why something wont happen. And so on and so forth – you get the jist.
A Sceptic – is someone who suspends good or bad judgement until they’re convinced. This frame is very powerful as it makes thinking OK and negative whiney judgement as not. Critical thinking and time to process and consider is not wrong at all. It’s not negative thinking to prepare for all eventualities. It’s fine to discuss the downside of any idea and to build a plan. You see a sceptic can still see the glass half full. They just need to be convinced first.
My challenge
What are you like ?
Scepticism is fine, but my challenge is that the end point of any critical thinking or consideration should still be an optimistic attitude. Why have anything else ?
“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?’”
(George Bernard Shaw)
Pure Inspiration III – Pass the Bucket with Amy Purdy
It is funny isn’t it how someone’s raw and real-life story smacks you in the face and makes you realise how lucky you are. Whether it be the beggars you pass in the street in India, the smiling face of an African child playing in the dust, or … Amy Purdy !
Stop and be thankful for how blessed you are to even be watching this. And determine that these little shots of inspiration will move you to live a significant, meaningful purposeful life – a life that counts !
You’ll know it when you find it ! (Steve Jobs)
I’ve said this before, but when I was interviewing the 10 famous Australians for my recent book ‘A Life That Counts’ I found it both an inspiring opportunity but also, surprisingly, a somewhat frustrating process. These highly successful Australians had many common traits but one thing stuck out to me – they LOVED what they did and I was struggling to find that out for myself. So I have spent a lot of time reflecting on what this is for me. And I want blogs like this to inspire you to do that for your own life.
In many of my personal development workshops I teach on this. Finding the core, authentic you. Finding what you love. Following your heart and the outworkings of this is passion and energy which ironically enough makes you more successful at what you do, as well as making life a much more enjoyable journey.
I’m reminded of people like:
* Walt Disney who said “I don’t make movies to make money, I make money to make movies”.
* Or Oprah Winfrey who says that “I have never interviewed someone who is extremely successful who doesn’t love what they do”.
* Or Steve Jobs in this video who says “I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going is that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love … to do what you believe is great work and the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know it when you find it.”
My Challenge
You’ve got to find what you love ? So what excites you ? What are you passionate about ? What do you think about a lot ? What do you wish you could be doing ? What gets the motor firing on the inside of you ? Maybe it’s not one thing like is the case for me. But why go through life not doing what you love – we have only one life after all.
And if you don’t know – I would be honoured to try and help you. Go and buy my workbook at
www.alifethatcounts.com.au/shop.php
That is exactly why I wrote it. To make my book come alive in your life. To help you on this journey of discovery. To help you find your dreams (the what and the why) and have the guts to not only dare to dream but to follow them. And then to have tools, strategies, techniques and examples for how to chase those dreams successfully (the how).
And as you live an inspired, purpose-driven life that counts – then I am inspired to do the same !!!
Tell me I can no longer fly – I want you to !
Michael Jordan is one of my heroes. Not only because he is the most famous and incredible basketballer to have ever walked the planet, but also because in many ways he epitomises everything a great sportsperson (and indeed successful person) represents. Sure he is mentally tough. Sure he is talented. But he also worked extremely hard for it. It was not given to him on a silver platter. He earned every success he had.
Remember when he made a comeback to the NBA in 1995 after pursuing baseball. Everyone doubted he would be as good … well after leading Chicago to another 3 more NBA championships (96,97,98) I expect they were silenced. Then after retiring a 2nd time in 1999 he unexpectedly made a comeback to play for the Washington Wizards frpom 2001 to 2003. Again, people doubted he’s be up to it. Again, he proved them wrong.
Michael Jordan you inspire me … you inspire me to define my own path and not let others define what is possible for me or what I will do or wont do. To use your own quote “Limits, like fears, are often an illusion”.
And to add a personal touch to it, here’s the actual sign I had on my wall in my room in the Olympic Village in 2006 when I made my first Olympics and equalled the Australian record. I also had this made into a sticker and it sat in the bottom of my sled so I would see it just before I raced off the top. Inspired by people like Michael Jordan – impossible is nothing.
An inspired and passionate rat in the ratrace or not a rat at all ? …
When I was writing my book I interviewed 10 famous and successful Australians. And it was confronting.
These people include the likes of Dick Smith, Gai Waterhouse, Louise Sauvage, James Tomkins, Lydia Lassila, Alexandra Croak, Matthew Burke, Matt Shirvington, Jason Stevens and Michael Milton. They are Australians of the Year, Olympic and Paralympic Gold medallists, World Champions, household names. I wanted to get behind the scenes – to find out what makes them tick. Why are they successful ? Why do they make the decisions they do ? How did they confront and conquer disappointment and obstacles ? What ha they learnt and what was their advice after their own journey’s and the success that came with it.
But the thing that struck me was that they were all PASSIONATE about what they did. They loved it. They would have probably done it anyway. There I was at 4:30am in the morning standing next to Gai Waterhouse at Randwick racecourse and she was as chipper and friendly as I imagined her to be. She loved being a horse trainer and the challenge of making a horse run fast. She loved conversing with the jockeys. The old experienced ones. The young 16 year old apprentices that she ‘mothered’. She loved talking to the owners. She loved running a business and all that that entailed. She loved racedays and the glamour that came with that as much as the early hours that noone saw. And then there was Dick Smith. He loved adventuring. He made money to facilitate this. He was happiest out in the Blue Mountains bushwalking or flying a helicopter and exploring. Matthew Burke – he loved sport. he loved the challenge of reaching of his potential and of being the best he could be. He loved touring. he loved being in a team sport with good mates who he had fun with and with whom he battled with whilst representing his country.
It was very confronting for me. Why ? because I was trying to figure out what ‘thing’ I was truly passionate about. There was no one thing. And it irked me. I wanted it to be easier – to know what that one thing was and pursue it with all my heart. To not just settle for doing something because it was easy or because the money was good or because that was what I’d done in the past. I think I’ve now figured out that for me there is no ‘one’ thing – I love life and I want to live an amazing life with everything that goes into that melting pot.
So what that in mind, whether it is ‘one’ thing or many – the challenge is still the same – the challenge of this bill board. May it inspire you to follow you heart. For remember there are many things that will capture your attention, but very few things that will capture your heart. Pursue those !
The biggest legacy Steve Jobs left wasn’t the mac / ipod / iphone …
RIP Steve Jobs. An amazing man. An entrepreneur. A visionary. The founder of Apple and Pixar and Next. A man who changed the world as we know it. But more than that. A great human being. A family man. A man who did what he loved.
Watch this video – his commencement address at Stanford University. There is no need to say anymore. What he says in this is the biggest legacy / lesson he could leave us – far more than the Apple Mac computer, the ipod, the iphone etc.
“I love what I do … You’ve got to find what you love … if you haven’t found it yet, keep looking and don’t settle. And as with all matters of the heart, you’ll know it when you find it !”
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve encoutered to make the big choices in life … the best way of avoiding the thinking that you have something to lose.”
Secrets to success – Arnie style
Before you watch this video let me tell you a little story …
When Arnold Schwarzenegger first came to America as a young teenager, he spent time living and training with Dr John Gourgott, an eye physician and successful bodybuilder who’d come second in the Mr America competition during the 1960s. Arnold was a young, relatively uneducated man who barely spoke a word of English. As a sort of father figure, John tried to give him some good, fatherly advice after Arnold won his first competition. He told him to invest his money and buy a gymnasium, to run it and build a solid future, in order to secure his financial future.
To John’s astonishment, Arnold listened and then quietly responded, ‘You don’t know the meaning of ambition. I’m not going to run a gym; I’m going to be a movie star – and I’m going to be the President of America!’ John was incredulous and tried to get Arnold to see reason. And yet history shows what a man could achieve who had much less going for him than most people who turn up in Hollywood wanting to be a star. He had an unshakeable belief in himself and was prepared to do whatever hard work was necessary for him to get there. Failure was just another lesson on the way to achieving what he wanted – and perhaps one day he will be President of the United States!
We all know what Arnie has gone on to achieve – in bodybuiding, in Hollywood and the movies and most recently in politics. So love him or hate him – he has been there and done that and can rightly talk about secrets to success.
So – secrets to success Arnie style …
1. Trust yourself
2. Break some rules
3. Don’t be afraid to fail
4. Ignore the naysayers
5. Hardwork – Work like hell!
6. Give something back
My challenge – do one of these better and you’ll see a difference … so go for it and good luck !
