1308, 2013

We’re both scared but for different reasons

By |August 13th, 2013|Fear, Uncategorized|0 Comments


We’re both scared but for different reasons.
I’m scared of what I wont become.
You’re scared of what I could become.
I wont let myself end where I started.
I wont let myself finish where I began.
I know what’s is within me even if you can’t see it yet …
I will become what I know I am.

Fear holds so many of us back. And it comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. It could be the fear of failure. Or it could be the fear of success. It could be the fear of letting others down. The fear of disappointing your parents or teacher. It could be many things.
But here’s something I’ve learnt it my own life and also when interviewing the 10 famous Australians for my book A Life That Counts. Successful people face the same fears as we do. It is not that they are not afraid. It is that they choose to ignore it. They choose to do something regardless of their fear. They choose to adopt a different mindset with that fear.

You see fearlessness is not the same as the absence of fear. The fearless person is well aware of the fear she faces. The fear, though, becomes a compass, not a barrier. It becomes a way to know what to do next, not something that has to be denied or an evil demon to be extinguished. When we deny our fear, we make it stronger. And trying to deny it doesn’t make us fearless.

But acknowledging your fear and moving on / choosing a new (brave) mindset permits any fear to exist without strengthening it or letting it control you.

“We’re both scared but for different reasons.
I’m scared of what I wont become.
You’re scared of what I could become.”

Challenge
The fear will not necessarily go away. So what new empowering and brave mindset will you adopt despite the fears you have ? 

 

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908, 2011

The silent assassin – fear !

By |August 9th, 2011|Fear|0 Comments

The video this week is one that I use in many of my talks. More of something to lighten the mood up usually – what an incredible add hey !

But I do think there is a very important lesson we can learn from this.

” Courage is not the failure to recognise fear;

it is the refusal to accept its offer”

(Anonymous)

I have faced a number of fears and it is one of the most stretching, but empowering things you can do.

I am scared of heights and in 2002 I went ice-climbing in NZ. I will never forget it. You think that you are constantly climbing but in reality because you are tied by a rope to your partner, you have to wait whilst they climb up there 50m before you then climb your next leg of 50m. And then once again you wait. High up on a mountain. While the wind buffets you. Whilst you have too much time to think and get scared. Whilst you have time to look down and freak out. I’ll never forget climbing one mountain on the corner of the ice, with a massive 1000m drop one side and 400m the other side (if I fell the other climber had to hurl himself off the other side so the rope would cut into the ice and to stop me falling to my death). Fun ? Not in my books. I was yelling out aloud to myself, willing my mind and body to conquer my fear and keep going. And all the time the fear gripped me, whilst for others, it was seemingly not an issue.

And then in bobsleigh, when you’re at the top of every track, you have to learn to conquer your fear. To master your emotions. Especially when it is your first time ever down the track and you have no sense of what it will feel like. And then again when it is your first time down that track from the very top. There is no room for error and you always have fear right there beside you.

But here is the lesson I have learnt. And it is the same lesson that Rugby league International Jason Stevens spoke about in my book A Life That Counts when he described the feeling before State of origin games. And that is – that the fear never goes away. The difference is that you learn to do it afraid.

Challenge – So, let me encourage you. There are fears holding you back from going after your dreams and chasing what you want. They will likely never go away. The difference will be whether  you are prepared to go after them despite your fears, and to learn to do it afraid.

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