The best 'yes' is saying 'no'

By Jeremy Rolleston|2013-08-13T07:00:05+00:00August 13th, 2013|Efficiency|0 Comments

A Hungarian psychology professor once wrote to famous creators asking them to be interviewed for a book he was writing. One of the most interesting things about his project was how many people said “no.” Of the 275 creative people that he contacted, a third of them said “no.” Their reason was lack of time. Another third said nothing. We can assume their reason for not even saying “no” was also lack of time and possibly lack of a secretary or simple organisation. Here’s a few of their responses …

Secretary to novelist Saul Bellow: “Mr. Bellow informed me that he remains creative in the second half of life, at least in part, because he does not allow himself to be a part of other people’s ‘studies.’”

Secretary to composer György Ligeti: “He is creative and, because of this, totally overworked. Therefore, the very reason you wish to study his creative process is also the reason why he (unfortunately) does not have time to help you in this study. He would also like to add that he cannot answer your letter personally because he is trying desperately to finish a Violin Concerto which will be premiered in the Fall…”

And that’s the lesson I’ve learnt over the years. You can be busy but not productive. They’re entirely different things. In fact, I think many people in companies appear busy but are not the least bit efficient or productive. I’ve written a number of posts about how to become more productive in the past.

• Pareto+
• Parkinson & Pareto weigh in with some tips
• The Not-to-do list

But I believe this particular learning is one of THE most important and if you get hold of it it is powerful and can become a cornerstone to you having a productive future. Learning to say ‘no’ will save you so much time. Learning to say ‘no’ crystallises your priorities. Learning to say ‘no’ helps you focus on those things that either you WANT to do, or that you NEED to do. Learning to say ‘no’ is the basis for the economic principle of comparative advantage – the same principle we see in action today when people outsource. Learning to say ‘no’ guards your time and so is immensely powerful for all the things you say ‘yes’ to.

Management writer Peter Drucker wrote: “One of the secrets of productivity is to have a VERY BIG waste paper basket to take care of ALL invitations such as yours – productivity in my experience consists of NOT doing anything that helps the work of other people but to spend all one’s time on the work the Good Lord has fitted one to do, and to do well.”

Or perhaps Charles Dickens, when rejecting an invitation from a friend, embodies what I’m saying. “‘It is only half an hour’–’It is only an afternoon’–’It is only an evening,’ people say to me over and over again; but they don’t know that it is impossible to command one’s self sometimes to any stipulated and set disposal of five minutes–or that the mere consciousness of an engagement will sometime worry a whole day… Whoever is devoted to an art must be content to deliver himself wholly up to it, and to find his recompense in it. I am grieved if you suspect me of not wanting to see you, but I can’t help it; I must go in my way whether or no.”

Now obviously this sounds pretty rude doesn’t it. And in fact we have been taught that saying no is rude. It is a rebuff, a rebuttal, a passive form of resistance. But if you want to be productive you need to learn to say no. And in any case – saying no doesn’t have to be done in a rude way. You can say no politely. Here’s an example – “Thankyou you so much for approaching me / considering me / thinking of me. As much as I’d love to be involved / participate / help, unfortunately I wont be able to with the commitments currently on my plate. But all the best. I hope you / it are a a big success.”

Remember, time is precious and how you spend it is important. Time is the raw material of creativity. It is the currency of practice makes perfect, of thinking and finding solutions to problems, of relaxing and having fun, of trial and error, of researching, or getting in and just finishing things. Once it is gone you can never get it back.

Productive people know this. They know how to say ‘no’ and they understand the consequences. They know that saying ‘no’ is effectively saying ‘yes’ to other things that they need or want to do.

My Challenge
Learn to say ‘no’ – it is more powerful than you realise.